Tuesday, June 29, 2010

some days...

some days exhaust me, plain & simple! today happens to be one of those days. for whatever reason, i didn't sleep well last night. that always seems to be the weapon of choice for the dirty devil -with me, anyhow!
on these kinds of days, it doesn't matter how quick and easy (we'll say straight-forward) i'd like the day to be, there always seems to be loop-de-loops thrown into it (hence, the crazy straws).
since i was up, and wanting to keep the commitment of exercising, i decided to go to the gym (my jogging buddy is on vaca). i did work harder today than i have been able to do thus far, but somehow going to the gym, or exercising in general, just exhausts me! yes, i iced my exhaustion flavored cake with exhaustion flavored frosting, all before 8am!!
today was also aiden's speech/development evaluation. it is an in home process so that he can supposedly be watched in his own setting. that makes sense, but when the woman (evaluator) brings all her own "toys", it makes it slightly pointless in my opinion, esp when we had most of the same items or something very similar.
i have also heard stories of evaluators coming in and including other children...ours did not and the entire morning became a battleground for owen to show off what he knows and aiden to show off his samson-like strength (fits included) when he was challenged by his brother. my head is still trying to process what happened through all the drama.
basically it comes down to this as far as his levels go:
  • cognition 21-24 mos
  • language 13-15 mos
  • self-help 15-18 mos
  • fine motor 13-15 mos
  • gross motor 18-21 mos
  • social/emotional 21-24 mos
according to today's evaluation:
  • he is very social/emotional, and very cognitive! who didn't know this?!?
  • he is slightly behind in self-help. she wants him to walk, not crawl, the stairs and feed completely unassisted. i wonder, does she have kids? does she understand the mess that is created when you just hand a 19 mo old a spoon and a container of yogurt?!? or what about the lack there of food that would enter the mouth b/c of it....
  • his fine motor is behind b/c he couldn't stack 4 blocks alone. this one surprises me a little! they were tiny blocks and we have the same ones that i put way up on a shelf b/c of the insert in mouth things that happens with such young ones. we've been asked to take these down and work with him on it.
  • he is right on track with gross motor. this is things like jumping, climbing, walking, etc.
  • he is behind on language (the obvious). i have much hope for this as i have seen huge improvements in the last couple weeks (since he's been on antibiotics). he babbles, says "ca" for cat, "cu" for cup, "hi", and even will nod his head yes when you ask him a question.
there are also some other concerns she has. he holds his mouth open often and drool just pours out (lots of people have noticed this, myself included, but blamed it on teething). she says that is because the muscles in his mouth are not strong at all, because he is not talking. when we return to the ENT she wants us to ask for his tonsils and adenoids to be checked as well. she said they are often the root of chronic ear fluid/infections and the mouth staying open is a sign of them not "being right". his daddy also had similar issues as a child and had to have his removed!
it's hard to hear there are things your child is developmentally behind in, because it's hard not to take it personally and think you've done something wrong! lets just face it, it's hard to hear there is anything wrong with your child!! but especially when it's something you've worked hard at and there have been no changes (something you can't control/change). with this situation, having watched aiden the last couple wks on antibiotic, i really feel strongly that he was not hearing us well before (if at all sometimes). i could have tried til i was blue in the face, and he wouldn't have responded b/c he didn't hear a single ounce of it!!
dealing with people can also be hard sometimes! this woman assured me that she "could tell i was stimulating him" and that "i cared" so we "needed to get to the root of the health aspect to figure out what was causing this delay", but then also said things like "you need to make him aware of his drool! make him clean it and tell him he's yucky and wet!" with a condescending voice as she was freaking out that drool touched her arm [and wiping it with lysol]. i'm allowed, at any time & w/o explanation, to switch the speech therapist (and in our case the TAC teacher)...so luckily if we get one with a similar disposition as this evaluator, we can "trade her in"!
well, things that i have learned or been reminded of so far today are:
  • not everyone loves my children as much as i do, enough to wear their drool, but that's okay (i love them enough to cover a multitude of everyone else)!
  • that i can't fix everything, no matter what my efforts are, so i better just get used to trusting god!
  • that my boys are sinners & they won't be well behaved everyday (this one is obviously not new, just a reminder!)
  • that speech days are going to take a lot more effort, organization and patience on my part if i'm going to keep the world from wwIII
  • that some days, no matter how many dishes are in the sink (or how much you want to blog, in fact), you just need to take a nap -it's better for EVERYONE this way! (and it's ok!!!)
  • that i will be having meetings like today once a week for the next several months!
i'm sure i learned and/or remembered more, but now i'm too tired to even remember what i remembered. please continue to pray for aiden as we dig deeper into what's going on & try to solve these delays!

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